Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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