Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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