I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize