im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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