Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize