I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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