dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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