lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
