turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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