if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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