My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
