I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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