My hand turned me down
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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