the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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