Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
that is very illegal...i love you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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