Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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