i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
