This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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