They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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