Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
are you so shy because you have an std?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
