I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize