i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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