I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
