I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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