My first STD was from a foam party
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
