Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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