I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
