Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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