they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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