Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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