is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
