I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
