It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
