hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
