the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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