I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
