I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize