no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
