Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
