K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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