So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!