Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
