You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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