He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
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What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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