Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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