Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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