I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
