You really coming over, don't trick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
