Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
