Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
