got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
