You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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