I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
