so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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