some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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