At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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