I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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