I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
