what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
