ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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