How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
